Imagine my shock when my feminist best friend told me she read Twilight and loved the series. Imagine how I thought she had lost her mind when she thought I would like them too. “I think you’d like it Kathleen. It’s horror and they have vampires in it!” I had been hearing so many bad things about the series, so I was a bit confused on how my friend could enjoy the book so much. So my solution? Read it for myself. My rational was I would be able to actually talk about what I did or didn’t end up liking about the book.

Alright so in December I started the marathon. I have my trusty e-book now (highly recommended) so at least I didn’t have to kill a tree. I have to say, the first time I read Twilight, I hated it. Hated it. I could not get over how horrible the writing was. I’m not saying I’m perfect and I should write novels, but honestly, Stephenie (Stupid Mormons just have to be different) Meyer can’t write to save her life.

Twilight is about a girl, Bella, who moves from Phoenix, AZ to the small town of Forks, WA, where she meets the beautiful vampire, Edward.

The second reading of Twilight happens to be 1000 times better than the first read through. I think it has something to do with the fact that I knew how horrible the writing was. The story, I guess, is okay. But I have a lot of bad things to say about it.

First up on the chopping block: the writing. I honestly can’t get over how bad a writer Meyer is. She has no concept of time passing. At one point, she is talking about time already passed, then she goes back and explains what happened even though she had just skipped right over it. She also can’t describe anything. She over explains details that aren’t important yet is okay with just glossing over things that are. She also can’t write in the first person. Twilight is seen through Bella’s eyes and it’s obvious she can’t write in the first person, so I have no idea why she did it. I got the feeling while reading that she picked up a thesaurus and found “big” words to make her sound smarter than she really is. Most of the words didn’t make any sense. At one point, Edward says, “You smell absurdly luscious.” I wasn’t aware that someone could smell luscious. One last thing about the writings…italics. Well that’s how Meyers emphasizes things…in almost every paragraph in the entire book there is at least one word in italics. No joke.

The story: The book is targeted towards a younger audience…I believe “tweens”. I believe that this book is probably the most damaging thing a young girl could read. I think the book is worse than all the Disney princess movies combined. Bella’s character is like no other girl I’ve ever heard of, and if I had known her, I’d have slapped some sense into her. She falls in love with Edward only after knowing him for (who knows how long because of the time thing) a few months and only after talking to him a couple of times. She says, “…I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.” Now, I don’t know about you, but that sounds scary coming from a 17-year-old girl to me. It’s so hard for me to believe how a girl can be so “in love” with a guy she barely knows because he’s so “good looking”. Not to mention, she says that she is in love with him about less than 300 pages into a 900 page book. Yikes. As the story progresses, Bella gets to the point of hysteria if Edward is not with her for long periods of time. Unhealthy.

So this book felt like it was a set up for the rest of the story, or “saga” as it’s being called. A lot of things happen in this book, and there is quite a bit of violence, which was surprising coming from a Mormon, and in a young adult book.

I think the biggest problem I have with Twilight and Meyer in general is the fact that she tries to add all this meaning and complexity to the story. She uses words that make her sound pretentious, when great authors like Neil Gaiman use odd/big words to challenge his readers, and to help build their vocabulary. Meyer fails so horribly because the context is all wrong and she uses the same words over and over. Also her lame attempts at describing Edward get annoying when she keeps referring to him as a Greek god. *rolls eyes*

After the second reading, I have to say it wasn’t nearly as painful as the first time, which I was shocked about. The first time through I thought it was the worst book I’ve ever read. I have to say it’s not the worst (Blindness comes to mind…) but it’s not good in anyway.

I highly suggest, if you have a child or are planning to have children, to never let them read this series…not unless you want a daughter that thinks being dependent upon someone else for the rest of her life is a good thing. If you are thinking this is a good way to get them into vampires and the horror genre, buy them some R.L Stine books instead.

So now the second book in the “saga”, New Moon, will be on the chopping block next.

Hippie. 

Heehee....I read New Moon in like a day.  Waiting for 3 and 4 to get here so I can whiz through them as well.  Then we can confab about the series at lenght.