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Author Topic: Welcome to Mortville! (...formerly known as RANT)  (Read 46769 times)
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Metapher
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« Reply #1665 on: August 29, 2010, 01:40:53 PM »

Saw Eli Roth shelling out his latest movie on TV.

There goes the rest of my day.  >:(

His face annoys me. I got so annoyed at the "Does Snuff Exist?" episode of the Dark Side of Porn when he was on.
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Zpermbies, okay?
nom_de_plume
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« Reply #1666 on: August 29, 2010, 02:09:41 PM »

His face annoys me.


agreed. he's an evil jewish monkey.
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"Ya know, somebody laid down this rule that everybody’s gotta do something, they gotta be something. You know, a dentist, a glider pilot, a narc, a janitor, a preacher, all that . . .I just get tired of thinking of all the things that I don't wanna do. All the things that I don’t wanna be."
SatanAteMyEars
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« Reply #1667 on: August 29, 2010, 03:54:37 PM »

I still say they make a film about the Bear Jew getting his head smashed in.
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« Reply #1668 on: August 29, 2010, 04:59:47 PM »

I still say they make a film about the Bear Jew getting his head smashed in.

Seconded.
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Skitliv
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« Reply #1669 on: August 29, 2010, 06:09:32 PM »

Watch Piranha for his face getting smashed in by a boat. Gold.
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"Reality. It traps us in a monotonous, deadening cycle. Engulfs our dreams
and desires with innumerable obstacles that are laced with cruel irony."

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SatanAteMyEars
Or I could just blast a dookie in the tub. The possibilities are truly endless.
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« Reply #1670 on: August 29, 2010, 06:39:06 PM »

Watch Piranha for his face getting smashed in by a boat. Gold.

Does he have much camera time before he receives his very own Kirsty MacColl makeover?
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"Man... It's a real shame when people be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that."
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« Reply #1671 on: August 29, 2010, 07:50:11 PM »

Not really, he hosts a wet shirt contest so you're kinda distracted by boobs and arse anyway, and he kinda blends into the other douche bags.
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"Reality. It traps us in a monotonous, deadening cycle. Engulfs our dreams
and desires with innumerable obstacles that are laced with cruel irony."

- Subconscious Cruelty
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« Reply #1672 on: August 29, 2010, 08:02:51 PM »

Not really, he hosts a wet shirt contest so you're kinda distracted by boobs and arse anyway, and he kinda blends into the other douche bags.

...except for the fact that he's a 45 year old frat-boy...which he perpetually plays in these cute cameo roles he takes on. That's more distracting than tits and ass.
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digitalartery
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« Reply #1673 on: August 30, 2010, 08:17:06 PM »

...except for the fact that he's a 45 year old frat-boy...which he perpetually plays in these cute cameo roles he takes on. That's more distracting than tits and ass.

Agreed.

Plus I'm not going to watch a crappy movie by a crappy director just to see an asshole like Eli Roth die. It's not like him getting killed in a movie is going to bring me any satisfaction anyway. He's still alive and still out there douching it up after the credits roll.
« Last Edit: August 30, 2010, 08:17:41 PM by digitalartery » Logged
nom_de_plume
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« Reply #1674 on: September 01, 2010, 09:18:01 AM »

the first thing i do every morning is walk the dogs. often times i'm out there doing the little pp dance myself, cause they go before i do.
well, this morning i happen to notice that Simon shit a turd that looked EXACTLY like the virgin mary! & me just having woke up, i didn't have my camera handy.
so i come inside, piss, grab cam & go out to snap a pic of it, cause what better place to post such an obvious sign from the holy mother than this very board?
& that was it. gone. it took 3 minutes for my ability to recall to disappear.
it was camouflaged so perfectly in the moss by the pine trees...atleast. i think that's where it was....

so there i am...8:30 am..cam in hand, tip-toeing around the yard trying to find my religious beacon of shit.

i couldn't help but chuckle to myself wondering what i would say if luke pulled in & asked wtf i was doing.

& somehow, it's the perfect metaphor for my life.

good morning, indeed.





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"Ya know, somebody laid down this rule that everybody’s gotta do something, they gotta be something. You know, a dentist, a glider pilot, a narc, a janitor, a preacher, all that . . .I just get tired of thinking of all the things that I don't wanna do. All the things that I don’t wanna be."
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« Reply #1675 on: September 03, 2010, 01:37:26 AM »

Camouflaged by moss? Ha! Of ye of little faith.
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nom_de_plume
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« Reply #1676 on: September 03, 2010, 10:13:16 AM »

graham. ;) oh, YOU.

you guys leave today for the big wedding bru-ha-ha. atleast i know a few people who are happy, content, whatever. more than i'll ever be, so consider me the ugly green monster. hope it's awesome & i'll surely be tuning into the festivities on sunday.  :thumbs:

trucking along as usual here. not much going on...ebaying everything that isn't nailed down...finally getting around to burning all the movies on my hd so i can free up some fucking space for more.

having weird dreams, but i'm in the wrong thread for that.

tootles.
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"Ya know, somebody laid down this rule that everybody’s gotta do something, they gotta be something. You know, a dentist, a glider pilot, a narc, a janitor, a preacher, all that . . .I just get tired of thinking of all the things that I don't wanna do. All the things that I don’t wanna be."
freaksho_138
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« Reply #1677 on: September 03, 2010, 08:16:13 PM »

I started halloween costume shopping early this year, as the selection goes way down closer to the holiday. Why must I gain 100 pounds in order to get a costume that covers my vagina? Fuck, had to settle for Jessica Rabbit considering my build and the fact that it was the least slutty thing I could find. Yes, least slutty was Jessica Rabbit, go figure. Too short for man costumes, boobs don't fit in kid costumes, and my creativity is shit at the moment. Fuck it
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Helen Keller is overrated
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« Reply #1678 on: September 04, 2010, 09:16:34 AM »

I have not dressed up for Halloween for ten years.. I'm assuming this is for a party and not trick or treating  lol


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« Reply #1679 on: September 04, 2010, 06:14:17 PM »

I have not dressed up for Halloween for ten years.. I'm assuming this is for a party and not trick or treating  lol



Ah hell, ya never know. I have walked out of a halloween party, completely plastered, and trick-or-treated. Nothing wrong with childish good times.
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Helen Keller is overrated
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